That moment ago, felt years for me. I got mad coz I thought I was alone. I felt non-existing. Invisible. It was such a cold treatment. I asked myself.. "does he really love me?" or "does he really love this way?" I was being sensitive coz I was badly hurt. Seeing him that way makes me wanna cry like a little child. I can't bear to think, we'll have this fight again.. all over again. I don't wanna leave him coz I know we'll go home again.. with.. unfinished business. I was too provoked, I left him. I was angry at him and at myself. I felt so weak and emotionally worn out. Despite of all this, I lowered down my pride. It's funny how furious I can be and still worry for him. It's me again trying to ceasefire the war. There was angry, frustration, sadness and pain going inside of me. It broke my heart seeing him that way. Where's that guy who I fall in love with? I want him back.. so bad. When will be the time when he would be the one who'll try to pursue me, and call me even if I hang up on him. When will be the time where I could be the one that will ignore his call and texts. I am so enraged by myself. Why can't I do that? Why do I surrender easily? Why am I so soft-hearted? Just this once.. Ako naman. Ako naman ang hinahabol. Ako naman ang hihilain. Ako naman, ngayon. Please.
And at this fckng moment, I am desperately waiting for his fckng text.. At the middle of the morning. Such a sad reality. I pity myself.
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